well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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