I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize