so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
