Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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