so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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