Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
