she woke up with a sticky ear
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
