im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
