the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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