Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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