i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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