I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
