1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
