He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
