singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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