LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your cock deserves a montage
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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