they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
