going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
