so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
