That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
