its not stalking. its research.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
