The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You're like the curious george of whores
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
