He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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