in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
