Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
