just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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