Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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