The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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