So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
