Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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