guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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