I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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