I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize