Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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