its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
