I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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