You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize