I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize