kristin has been a bad kristin
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
