I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
her vagine was all disorganized.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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