I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My vagina is officially offended.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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