Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
