its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
