Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
