I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
