don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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