just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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