Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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