my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
