Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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