we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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