We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
