So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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