You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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