Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
When are your genitals available?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
