i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
