Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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