the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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