I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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