ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
