Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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