you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize