Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize